rohanna regrets...

i can't sleep.

my brain won't quit mulling over all the things i could have done better when i taught ballet at rohanna dance productions. i was there only one year. i started out teaching only 2 or 3 shorter classes, but when one of the main ballet instructors left, i had the opportunity to step in and take care of her classes.

and i feel like i dropped the ball.

there were a few small successes, and i felt like i was able to help a couple of the students really learn and grow. but as a whole, i feel like i could have done SO much better! i hate that feeling!

true, it was the hardest year of my life, personally. really, unbelievably hard. but still, i wish i had rebounded better from that, and learned faster from my mistakes as a teacher.

i'm sorry for the time i called troop 2/3 "babies" when they were whining about a particularly challenging combination i asked them to do. what i should have said was, "come on, guys, you can totally do it. i have complete confidence in you." because that's what i meant. i should have taken a lot more care with my words.

i'm sorry for being so super hard on troop 4. i was SO concerned about teaching them discipline and responsibility, that i forgot to let them have fun. and i forgot about grace. how could i forget about grace?!?! i also forgot how much discipline they were already demonstrating, just by giving up almost all of their free time to be at the dance studio.

i'm sorry for when i lost my patience with my littlest (and cutest) ones - troop 1. i forgot to let kids be kids.

i wish so much that i could do it over again. i KNOW i could do better, and serve those girls better.

well, if any of you girls read this, know that i think of you often, and that i did (and still do) care about you, even when it didn't show. i hope your teachers are encouraging you and challenging you, so that you grow as dancers and as young women.

live and learn, right?

goodbye, houston

i received my official "no" from Ad Deum, the Christian dance company in houston that i auditioned for when i was down there.

we had been anticipating it since last wednesday, when i found out that some friends i met in houston had received their invitations (congratulations!!!). it was a sad day.

after these three big "no"s and losing my job, i have no idea what God has in store for us, or where He would have us go from here. but i know that He is good. He is faithful. He is trustworthy.

Jesus is in charge of my life, and i wouldn't have it any other way.

the waiting and wondering challenge me almost minute by minute. it's rough sometimes. so, if you think of us, please pray for peace and wisdom.

the end of the end =P

today was my last day.

i found out as i was putting the jewelry away... hah!

the beginning of the end

so after much prayer, thought, and discussion, daniel and i decided that i should put in one month of notice at my jewelry store job.

at the end of february, he reduced my hours. instead of tuesday through saturday, i've only been working tuesday through thursday. this also cut my commission dramatically, since most of my commission came from friday and saturday sales.

on top of this, he has been sending me home or telling me not to bother coming in about once a week. so as it turns out, i've only been working 2 days a week on average. and earning a tiny fraction of the commission i used to earn.

we used to have 3 stores. now we just have the one. we were anticipating that jeff was going to let me go altogether. well, we both felt that it would be much better to quit than to be fired (even for such an innocent reason). so that was what we decided to do.

once i brought it up with my boss and gave him a date for my last day, he said, "well, we'll see about that. you know how slow it is. i just don't need people during the week." i offered to work fridays. he has some other help on fridays, though.

all in all, i have no idea whether or not i will work another day for jeff, because next week i will be in indiana for easter break with my brother and sister-in-law (!!!). i have no idea if he will have me come back in after that. maybe one day a week.

we knew it was possible that this would happen. but we decided that if that was the case, all the more reason to beat him to the punch.

so that's that.